Chapter 6

2020 COVID-19 – March 25

Reality seems to have slunk away. Slowly at first, but now quicker through each stage, like a slinky. One of my favourite toys as a kid was a Slinky. Each day is like one more slow, weird, wobbly slinky step down. Our daily routine feels more and more like Groundhog Day, except with all the monotonous repetitiveness and none of the hilarious quirky benefits of staring Bill Murray. If I try to remember the things I was “stressed” about a few weeks ago they are pale like the under belly of a shark in comparison to today. (I’m assuming sharks have a pale underbelly and I’m too tired to google it…this blog is not here for the facts.)

It’s truly amazing what the human condition can adjust to. The idea of spending even one week mostly inside with our kids without social outlets or playgrounds seemed impossible. Yet somehow here we are and we have committed to do it for as long as this is all helpful and necessary. These days we build tent forts under the dining table and have FaceTime play dates instead. Friends who own small businesses built with blood, sweat and tears are boarding up the windows. People who have put their love and energy into careers, passions, jobs have had to turn the lights out.

Yet I know we are blessed because my family is safe together at home, many people are not safe at home. And right now home is everything.

We are testing the bounds of family and what “home” means. Our daughter was trying to describe something she’d seen to me and said “mamma tomorrow…when all of this passes…I’ll show you” it lit every fibre of my face on fire to hold in the hot tears of panic and uncertainty and hope that her tomorrow isn’t so far away that she forgets. But kids are resilient and all of this will pass.

Besides, minutes later she said “My giggles are throwing me down” and fell over during a particularly active game of tag. (Kids are as easy to entertain as a bucket of wasps) Running and playing tag with a pre schooler indoors takes some extra agility and parenting skill. While also trying simultaneously not to get divorced and to not step on the baby.

I for one am both desperate, yet somehow patiently waiting to see tomorrow. I already know that I will be different in every way. In unexpected ways and in ways that I don’t believe were possible without all of this – good and bad. But mostly good, because change is always worthwhile in the end.

I hope we can all feel like that about tomorrow, whenever that comes…